Table manners:

1. Start eating after the invited colleague or the main person, the mistress of the house, has done so.

2. Do not swing, spread, or place your elbows on the table while eating. You can place your elbows on the table if the music is loud and you need to be heard by your interlocutor.

3. Do not wave the napkin, but place it on your lap with the fold facing you. Do not tuck the napkin into your collar, or between shirt buttons, or the waistband of your trousers. Never use a napkin as a handkerchief. If you leave the table, place the napkin on the chair; when you finished eating - on the table, to the left of the cutlery.

4. Don’t slump in your chair, sit straight, keep your elbows off the table longer, if you don’t know where to put your hands, put them on your knees.

5. Chew with your mouth closed, do not talk while you chew.

6. Don't put too much food in, chew your food thoroughly.

7. Don't spit anything into your palm.

8. The plate located to the left of the main one is for bread; the butter must first be placed on the bread plate, and not directly from the common one onto your piece.

9. Break off bread and rolls. Nothing can be dunked anywhere. There is no need to smear the sauce from the plate with bread.

10. Do not take anything with your hands except bread.

11. Do not blow on hot food or drinks or sip. Quickly wash down hot food with water. If there is no water, quickly and discreetly remove the hot piece from your mouth with your fingers or spit it onto your fork, and then place it on the edge of the plate.

12. If you come across poor quality food, do not swallow it, but remove it from your mouth quickly and discreetly. Don't spit into a napkin.

13. When you finish your meal, do not move the plate away from you, simply place the cutlery parallel to the plate, the fork with the tines down, the knife with the convex side facing the fork, and the napkin to the left of the plate, without straightening it. It is allowed to place the fork and knife crosswise on the plate.

14. Place the briefcase on the floor, hang the bag on the back of the chair, to your left. Never place papers on the table, hold them in your hands.

15. While eating, do not look at your partners for a long time or point-blank.

16. Even if the meal takes place in a part of the restaurant where smoking is allowed, it is better to refrain from smoking. If you can, be sure to wait until everyone is finished. Never use the saucer as an ashtray.

17. If you spill something on yourself or on the tablecloth, do not dramatize the situation. No need to jump away from the table. Place a napkin on the flooded area of ​​the table, and blot your clothes with the napkin too. You can ask the waiter to bring more napkins.

18. If you splashed your neighbor, you need to quietly apologize and offer to pay for the cleaning. There is no need to try to wipe your neighbor with anything, just offer your napkin.

19. If you drop solid food, you should use a spoon or the tip of your knife to pick up a piece from the tablecloth.

20. If someone leaves the table, don’t ask “where?” If you go out on your own, apologize.

21. Operate devices using your fingers, not your hand. Eat at a medium pace. The art is to start and end with everyone together.

22. Apply butter only to the piece of bread you put in your mouth.

23. Avoid looking around at those sitting at neighboring tables, develop peripheral vision.

24. It is not customary to talk about health, good or bad, at the table. If you need to take a pill, take it, there is no need to explain why or why.

25. Come to the feast at exactly the appointed hour. The man must make the woman sit down, moving the chair back and forth accordingly, sit to her LEFT, and if the table is small, opposite.

26. The biggest mistake is picking your teeth with a fork and eating with a knife.

27. How to sit at the table correctly

The correct posture to take at the table means that you need to sit straight, not hunched over, but not as if you “swallowed an arshin,” but slightly leaning back in the chair. Hands, when they are not occupied with a knife and fork, can be placed on your knees - this will help get rid of the bad habit of rolling bread balls, drawing on the tablecloth with a knife, aimlessly moving plates and cutlery around the table. Well, if you are such a restless person, you can put your hands on the edge of the table, but not your elbows - this way you will feel less constrained. Try not to hold your hands to your face or twist or touch your hair.

Although we have heard “don’t put your elbows on the table” since childhood, there are times when this is not only acceptable, but simply necessary. For example, in a restaurant, loud music is playing, drowning out your words, and in order for the interlocutor to hear you, you have to move your whole body towards him. This movement - especially when it comes to a woman - will look much more graceful if you rest your elbows on the table rather than your palms on your knees, as if you suddenly felt severe pain. But at home, where there is no need to lean towards your interlocutor in order to say something loudly to him across the table, you should not lean your elbows on the table. At a formal dinner, as in a restaurant, you can rest your elbows on the table and lean forward to talk to the person sitting opposite you. However, even in such special situations, elbows are never placed on the table while eating.

A person slouching and lounging on a chair, or swaying on it, looks very unsightly - the latter is not only considered a flagrant violation of the rules of good manners, but also poses a serious threat to the legs of the chair.

28. Napkin

Normally, when you sit down at the table, you unwrap your napkin and place it on your lap, but at a formal dinner, it is customary to wait for the hostess to do this first. There is no special wisdom in how to unfold a napkin - just don’t do it with a sharp movement. Taking a napkin from the table, you carefully place it on your lap. If the size of the napkin allows, you can even secure it somehow so that it does not slip onto the floor. If not, just unfold it as far as you see fit with both hands.

A man should never tuck a napkin into his collar, between the buttons of his shirt, or into the waistband of his trousers.

When using a napkin, do not wipe your mouth with it, but blot your lips a little - this looks much more attractive.

If you have already finished eating or need to get up from the table, place the napkin to your left, and when the plates are cleared - in front of you. It should not be folded again or crumpled - let it lie freely, without taking up too much space. At a dinner party, the hostess, as a sign that the meal is over, places her napkin on the table, and the guests do the same, but only after the hostess, and not before.

If your family uses napkin rings, the napkin should be folded again and threaded through the ring to be used one or two more times.

29. When you serve yourself and when you are served

When transferring food to your plate, you need to be careful and hold the serving spoon or fork so as not to drop what you take on the tablecloth, on the floor, on yourself or on a neighbor.

All foods served on pieces of toasted bread (toast), except for fried pigeons and quails - mushrooms, asparagus, “sweet meat” - should be taken from the tray along with them, because, firstly, it’s easier to transfer everything to your plate , and secondly, a pile of softened toast on a tray is an unattractive sight. And therefore, the toast with everything on it is picked up from below with a spoon, held on top with a fork and transferred to your plate, on the edge of which you can then put the bread if you don’t want to eat it. When you take food only with a spoon, you should be especially attentive and careful.

Gravy or sauce is poured over meat, potatoes or rice, while pickles, relishes or jelly are placed next to the main dish. Olives, radishes, and nuts are placed on a snack plate, if there is one, and if not, then on the edge of your plate.

When passing your plate for refills, leave your fork and knife on it, making sure they won't slip.

The host puts food on plates and passes them to the guests counterclockwise: everyone sitting on the right takes a plate from his neighbor on the left and sends it on. If a lady sits to the right of the host, she keeps the plate for herself, but passes the next one to the guest who is at the very end of the table. The third is intended for the last one on the right, the fourth - for his neighbor on the left, etc. When all the guests sitting on the right hand of the host have been served, the plates begin to be passed to those sitting on the left side. Lastly, the owner puts the food in for himself. When the hostess, who occupies a place at the opposite end of the table, lays out the food, she follows the same order.

“Family style” dinner assumes that the host or hostess lays out only the meat or other main dish, and the trays with other dishes are passed around so that everyone can put as much as they want. Trays are also passed counterclockwise. The man does not court his neighbor on the right, but puts his portion on his plate. He, however, can hold the dish until the lady serves herself food. If a guest sitting at the far end of the table asks for a refill, and the dish ends up with you “on the way,” you have the right to say: “Do you mind if I add a little for myself first, so as not to pass this dish back later?” If there is only one portion left on the dish, this, of course, should not be done.

At family dinners, when the mother knows who likes what and how much they can eat, she puts the food on plates in the kitchen and, herself or with the help of one of the children, brings the filled plates to the table. This is not allowed in the presence of guests - guests are given the right to choose and serve their own food. Exceptions here are possible only for dishes prepared and served in a special way, such as “eggs Benedict,” which must be “put together” in the kitchen.

The maid, serving food to guests, hands the dish to the left. If you don't like the food, just say, "No, thanks."

30. How to refuse an offered dish

If you are offered a dish that you are allergic to or that you particularly dislike, you can politely refuse: “No, thank you.” However, the rules of good manners recommend taking at least a small piece from each dish and placing what you did not touch on the plate so that it is not noticeable. The old rule of not leaving anything on the plate is outdated today, but the hostess will undoubtedly be upset if she sees that you have served yourself a large portion without even touching it, not to mention the fact that it would be simply wasteful. There is no need to explain why you are refusing food, but if the reason is that you have an allergy, or you are on a diet, or your doctor does not recommend it to you, you can, sparing the hostess’s pride, quietly, without attracting the attention of other guests, explain to her , what's the matter.

When refusing a dish offered by a waiter, quietly say, “No, thank you,” or simply shake your head - this form of refusal is now more widespread.

At a buffet lunch, where there are several dishes to choose from, you can simply take what you like best. If the waiters at such a dinner are standing at the table with appetizers, you only have to point to the dish you like, holding your plate forward, or say “No, thank you” with a smile if they are going to serve you something other than what you wanted.

31. Cutlery

You should never think about which fork and knife to eat this or that dish. Everything is very simple: they start with the cutlery located farthest from the plate, and with each change of dishes they take those knives and forks that lie closest to it. This question comes up again and again, but the answer is always the same. There is, however, one exception - if the table is set incorrectly and the order of the cutlery is mixed up, take a fork and knife that match the dish you are going to eat. For example, an oyster fork lies closer to the plate than a regular fork, but this does not mean that you should use a regular fork for shrimp cocktail, and eat the main course with a small oyster fork. In all other cases, the order remains unchanged: start with the furthest utensil and, starting each subsequent dish, take the fork and knife that are closest to the plate.

Having finished eating the main course, place the fork and knife parallel on the plate - so that their handles slightly protrude beyond the edge of the plate, diagonally from left to right and from top to bottom. It is also customary to put a dessert spoon and fork. When the dessert is served in a vase on a high stem or in a deep vase on a separate plate, the spoon is placed on this plate. If the vase is small and wide, the spoon can be left in it or placed on a plate.

How to use a knife and fork

How to properly handle a knife and fork can best be shown through illustrations. By carefully examining the pictures, you will understand how best to use cutlery to cut the bird, and how to more conveniently and gracefully bring the food to your mouth.

In America, it is customary to eat in a zigzag manner: the fork is transferred from the left hand to the right after cutting off a piece of meat or poultry. This manner is quite correct, but, in my opinion, it is too complicated, and loses in comparison with the “European” style, when the knife remains in the right hand and the fork in the left, fortunately it is both simpler and more elegant. Although some people think that adopting a “foreign” manner is snobbery, I see nothing wrong with adopting a more practical custom.

32. How to help yourself when eating

Bread crust is perfect for helping with eating. A knife is also suitable for this purpose - provided that you use it correctly. The knife should be held in your left hand in the same position in which you hold it in your right when cutting food, and with its tip you place the pieces on the fork. This movement is natural and therefore completely acceptable.

33. Getting out of difficult situations at the table

- Food that is too hot or of poor quality

If, when you put food in your mouth, you feel that it is too hot, quickly wash it down with water. Only when there are no drinks can you get rid of the piece that is burning your palate by quickly and discreetly pulling it out of your mouth with your fingers or spitting it onto a fork and then placing it on the edge of the plate. The same should be done with regard to spoiled food. If you find the taste of an oyster or any other shellfish suspicious, do not swallow it, but remove it from your mouth - quickly and as discreetly as possible. However, spitting something into the corner of a napkin is unnecessary and unacceptable.

- When you choked on meat or bone

Although each of us has heard that a piece of food that went down the wrong throat led to someone’s death, in fact, most often the situation of a choking person is far from so tragic. If a sip of water doesn't help, try clearing your throat with a tissue over your mouth. Remove the stuck piece of food or fish bone from your mouth with your fingers and place it on the edge of your plate. If you feel like you need to induce a longer coughing attack, excuse yourself and leave the table.

However, when you are choking severely, do not hesitate to call for help. The trouble is that a person in this position is not able to speak, cough or make any sounds at all. Therefore, by any means necessary, attract attention to yourself and remember that there is no time for good manners. Try to remain calm and act quickly - it could save your life.

- If you cough, sneeze or want to blow your nose

To perform one of these actions - if it does not take too long - it is not at all necessary to get up from the table. As a last resort, you can apologize, go into another room and deal with the cough or uncontrollable sneezing there. When you feel a coughing attack approaching, cover your mouth and nose with a tissue, or if you don’t have a tissue or time to take it out, with a napkin. As a last resort, just your palm will do - it's better than nothing. You should never blow your nose into a tissue. If you don't have anything suitable at hand, excuse yourself and hurry to the bathroom.

- If there is a pebble, hair or insect in the plate

If there is something inedible in food, the only way out is to get rid of it, and as quietly as possible. Remove the foreign object from your mouth with your fingertips and place it on the edge of your plate. When you notice this “something” - a hair in butter, a worm on a lettuce leaf, a fly in soup - even before the foreign object gets into your mouth, try to remove it without attracting attention to yourself and continue eating. If the impression turned out to be too strong and completely ruined your appetite, just set the plate aside so as not to embarrass the hostess. In a restaurant, on the contrary, you not only can, but must indicate to the waiter that the dish was served in substandard form and demand a replacement. However, an observant and attentive housewife, noticing that you have stopped eating and guessing what’s wrong, will make sure that they bring you another portion.

- If food gets stuck in teeth

You cannot use a toothpick at the table, and it is absolutely unacceptable to remove a piece of food stuck in your teeth with your fingers. If it causes pain, excuse yourself, get up from the table and go to the bathroom. Or wait for a pause, say, a change of dishes and, after leaving the dining room, ask for a toothpick.

The same thing should be done when a piece of food gets stuck in a denture. You should apologize and go to the bathroom to wash it off.

- If you drop or spill something

When it comes to solid food, you should use a clean spoon or the blade of your knife to pick up a piece from the tablecloth, for example, jelly, a slice of cucumber, etc. If there is a stain on the tablecloth, wet the corner of your napkin with water from a glass and try to wipe it off. Apologize to your hosts, who in turn should not draw attention to this incident so as not to add to your embarrassment.

If you spill wine or water at a formal dinner or in a restaurant, calmly call the waiter and ask him to bring a napkin to cover the spill. At a family dinner where there are no servants, try using a napkin or sponge to wipe off the stain and generally help the hostess get rid of it as best you can.

What you shouldn't do at the table

Although I much prefer to tell you what to do in certain circumstances, sometimes it is necessary to focus on what you should never do. Below are the most important rules regarding what not to do at the table. When you hold a spoon or fork in one hand while eating, you should not grab the plate with your other hand. When you finish eating, do not push the plate away from you. It must remain in its place until the waiter or maid removes it from the table. If the dinner took place without servants, you can take the empty plate yourself and take it to the kitchen. Don’t lean back in your chair, announcing publicly: “That’s it, I’m full!”, or: “I can’t take it anymore!” The fact that you have finished eating should be indicated by the fork and knife placed on the plate in the appropriate manner. Never drink anything before you have chewed and swallowed the food. It is allowed to drink coffee while holding a small piece of toasted bread in your mouth - so small that it is unnoticeable to others. However, it is still better not to combine food and drink. Do not wipe down your equipment in a restaurant. If you have any doubts about the cleanliness of your knife and fork, call the waiter, show him the cutlery and ask him to replace it. Women need to ensure that traces of lipstick do not remain on a napkin, on the rim of a glass, on a fork or spoon, and therefore they should not overuse cosmetics before dinner. When bringing a cup to your mouth, do not put your little finger aside - it looks mannered. Never leave a spoon in a cup: not only is it unsightly, but it can also lead to an accident. Avoid waving a fork or spoon during a lively conversation, especially when there is food left on it. Most often this is done with ice cream, but the fact that it is too cold cannot serve as an excuse in this case. It is better to take a smaller spoonful, but swallow this portion immediately. Do not immediately cut everything that is on the plate in front of you - this is an unappetizing sight. Do not put a lot of mashed potatoes or peas on a fork that has already been used to prick the meat. In other words, try to never stuff your mouth full of any food.

By familiarizing yourself with the rules of table etiquette, you will always feel in your place while eating, not only at a party, but also at business functions and in restaurants. The key to success will be your confidence and knowledge. We invite you to familiarize yourself with the rules of behavior at the table and try to immediately put into practice the material you have learned.

As soon as you find yourself at a party, a cafe or restaurant, people immediately pay attention to your behavior. How you behave at the table, whether you know how to use cutlery correctly - this will help you draw a certain conclusion and understand whether you are a cultured and educated person, or whether you still have a lot to learn.

Table etiquette culture

Let's start with the main thing - with the general rules. Have you paid attention to how you sit? The back should be straight. You need to sit not on the very edge of the chair, but so that you feel comfortable. While sitting, bend your elbows so that they are level with the instruments. When there is nowhere to put your hands, they are placed on your knees. In this position it is convenient to wait for the dish to be served. If you are visiting, you must wait until the host of the feast offers to start the meal. There is no need to wait for late guests.

Table etiquette says that when the table is large, it is impossible to reach all the dishes, so you need to take only those that can be reached with an outstretched arm. You cannot lean over your neighbor or disturb him. If you want to take a distant dish, you can ask a guest who is comfortable serving it to do so. Don't forget to politely thank the person for their help.

According to the rules of table etiquette, before starting a meal, the owner must make sure that the table is fully set.

How to serve food:

1. According to the rules of table etiquette, dishes are served across the table from the left side to the right.
2. One person can hold the dish while the other person fills the plate.
3. If the dish is too heavy and it is inconvenient to hold it in weight, then it can be placed on the table.
4. The tureen must be passed with the protruding part forward to the guest.
5. When food on a platter needs to be cut, then according to the rules of table etiquette, the person holding the dish must wait until the neighbor cuts and puts the food on his plate using common cutlery.

Table setting etiquette

Regardless of the organization of the event, the table must be set according to all the rules. First, you need to try to make each guest feel free at the table. Try to seat guests so that there is a small gap between the chairs.

Now about the most important thing - how to set the table correctly. There are many ways to serve: for different times of day and individual occasions. In addition, table setting methods differ from country to country and depend on the customs and culture of the population. We will consider the classic type of serving.

The basis of the table setting is the tablecloth. Light and white colored canvas is more often chosen. According to the rules of serving, the corners of the linen should cover the legs of the table (square or rectangular). The tablecloth should not fall below the seat level, maximum 25-30 centimeters.

You need to spread the fabric sheet loosely at the table, lifting it from the ends and shaking it so that air can form between the fabric and the table - this will make it easier to distribute the tablecloth on the surface. You cannot pull or stretch the canvas by the corners.

Napkins play a role in table setting. They can be chosen to match the tablecloth or in a contrasting color.

Fabric napkins (linen or cotton) are used for special occasions, and paper ones - for every day. A folded napkin is placed on a plate for each guest. A paper napkin can be placed under the plate on the right side.

Table etiquette. Serving with cutlery

When setting the table with cutlery, you need to take into account the number of dishes and their type, and think in advance what kind of utensils you will need. For example, if there are dishes on the table that are usually eaten without cutlery, then you need to put napkins or a container of water.

How to properly set the table:

1. Look at the table and mentally divide it into separate zones, taking into account that each person should be allocated 80 centimeters of length. Place a serving plate - this shallow, large-diameter dish serves as a trivet. The next one is placed on it - with food. The puree soup is served in a soup bowl, and the broth is served in a special bowl.
2. To the left of the serving plate is a bread plate (pie plate). Next to it is a container with water and pieces of lemon for rinsing your hands if you eat food with your hands.
3. Basic cutlery: forks, spoons and knives are laid out on the right and left sides of the plate. The knife is on the right, and the fork is on the left. When dessert is indicated on the menu, then the spoon is placed above the plate.
4. For ice cream, add a teaspoon.
5. You can place four glasses for wine and water on the table at the same time.

Table setting etiquette rules:

Dinner table etiquette

Table decoration is of great importance. The mood and appetite of family members and guests will depend on how well the table is set.

Dinner table setting:

1. The table is covered with a tablecloth and a snack plate is placed on it. To her left is a pie shop.
2. Two forks are placed between the plates: a dinner fork and a diner fork, with the tines facing up. On the right is a knife. The blades are positioned towards the plate.
3. One wine glass is placed behind the appetizer plate, and a napkin is placed on the plate itself. There is no need to unfold it completely.
4. A vase of flowers is placed in the middle of the table.
5. When the hostess serves the table, the table setting can be supplemented with cutlery.
6. The soup is served in special bowls to the right of the person sitting. At a festive dinner, pre-heated soup is poured into a tureen and placed next to the hostess.
7. If fruit compote with seeds is served for dessert, then you need to place a bowl on the saucer.
8. Coffee and tea for all family members are served in a coffee pot, cups and saucers are placed on the table in advance. If the drink is immediately poured into cups, then they are served on a tray along with saucers and spoons.
9. Sugar is served in a separate sugar bowl along with a spoon.

The day before the expected feast, review your dishes - they should be clean.

Table etiquette lessons

You need to sit at the table leaning forward a little. Sit on the entire seat of the chair.

When a person sits at a table, only hands can be placed on it, and it is better to press the elbows to the body.

Table etiquette says: You cannot chew with your mouth open. When you chew food, it is not advisable to talk, and there is no need to rush either.

Remains of food between the teeth are removed with toothpicks, but only in the restroom. If you come across cartilage, then the contents are removed, dropped onto a spoon and moved to a plate.

According to the rules of table etiquette, the napkin can be removed from the plate when food is served. She is turned around on her knees. After finishing the meal, wipe your hands and mouth with a napkin. It is not crushed - it is carefully placed on the table. The paper napkin can be crumpled and placed on a plate.

Table etiquette rules:

• the fork is held in the left hand and the knife in the right;
• when using one fork, it is held in the right hand;
• While chewing food, cutlery is placed on the plate.

Table etiquette photo:

Table etiquette: briefly

1. The bread must be broken off by hand.
2. Take the oil with a fork.
3. The fish bones are separated with a special knife, and the meat is separated with a fork.
4. Soft cheeses can be spread on a slice of bread. Hard cheeses are placed on a plate with a fork.
5. The broth is eaten with a spoon, the meat and croutons are caught with a spoon. The broth is eaten first, and then the pieces of meat.
6. Porridge is eaten with a dessert spoon.
7. A piece is cut from a piece of meat and brought to the mouth along with a side dish.
8. Pasta is eaten with a fork. Spaghetti is placed in the middle of the plate and lifted up to separate a small portion. The spaghetti is wrapped around a fork and eaten immediately.
9. The soup is not finished until the end, and the spoon must remain in the plate the entire time.
10. The kebab is removed from the skewer and placed on a plate.
11. Watermelon slices are eaten with a fork.
12. Cherries and pitted cherries are taken by the branches. The bones are first spat into the fist and then quietly placed on a plate.
13. If tea is poured into a glass, then you can leave the spoon, but if it is poured into a cup, you need to take it out. Do not stir the sugar pieces too much, but wait until they dissolve.

Table etiquette in pictures

Festive table etiquette:

Restaurant etiquette

Have you decided to go to a restaurant? Then you just need to familiarize yourself with the rules of etiquette in advance.

So, the man enters the establishment first. If the visitors are both women and men, then the one who will pay for dinner should enter first. In the case when a doorman meets you at the entrance to a restaurant, a woman should enter first.

If a meeting is scheduled with a woman in an establishment, then the man arrives first 5 minutes before the appointed time. He undresses and finds out where his table is. Then you can return to the hall, meet the lady and help her undress.

If a table is reserved for several people, then latecomers are allowed to wait 20 minutes. After this you can go to the table.

In the case when a man accompanies a woman, he must give her the right to choose a seat at the table, for example, facing the stage. Seats facing the hall and the entrance are considered comfortable. The man should sit opposite or to the left of the lady. If there are two men, then the woman sits between them.

According to the rules of table etiquette, the man chooses the menu himself. It is allowed to offer a woman a choice of several selected dishes. She should not choose very expensive and cheap dishes. The phrase: “Order what you will eat yourself” would also be inappropriate.

According to the rules of etiquette at a restaurant table, you cannot laugh or talk loudly, or lean your elbows on the table. In addition, at the table you cannot use a comb, wipe your face with napkins, look at the dishes with interest and dry them. Do not blow vigorously on hot food.

After the ordered dishes are served, you can start eating. If you don’t like something in the food, you can invite the waiter and ask him to replace the dish.

Both men and women are allowed to order alcoholic drinks. You can taste the wine and, after an approving nod, the waiter will fill the glasses. A restaurant visitor has every right to refuse an insufficiently chilled drink.

During and after the end of the meal, cutlery is placed according to non-verbal communication with the waiter:

According to the rules of etiquette, smoking indoors is prohibited.

By the end of the meal, you need to decide who will pay for the reception. The man is allowed to pay for the lady if she does not object. By the way, now you won’t surprise anyone that a woman pays herself. She should discuss this with the man in advance.

When paying, you need to look at the receipt and put the money inside a special book or on a plate. Tips are 10-15 percent of the amount.

Table etiquette for children

How to teach your child table etiquette? They start at an early age. Just when the baby turns one year old, it’s time to start. At first, it is enough to show the baby how mother behaves at the table so that he tries to imitate.

Preparing for the meal

The baby should know that the main thing in preparing for food is clean hands. When the baby is still small, his mother helps him wash his hands. Only after this is it allowed to sit down at the table. Two-year-old children no longer need to be forced to wash their hands; this should happen automatically, on a subconscious level. If a child is lazy, then parents should often remind the child about simple hygiene rules.

Boys should be taught to be a gentleman from an early age, and dad should be an example.

The baby should be seated on a special chair that is moved towards the table. It is advisable for a child to be on the same level as his parents. He should sit on the left side of the mother so that she can help the baby in any situation.
Try to teach your baby to eat together at certain hours. The child must learn that if food is placed on the table, then you cannot pounce on it, you need to wait for permission and after the magic words “bon appetit”, start eating. Also, you should not grab pieces while mom is setting the table. This should be stopped immediately, but not by shouting, but in a calm tone by telling them that this does not need to be done.

When the baby is sitting at the table, a cloth napkin is placed on his lap, and a paper napkin is placed under the plate. If the child is very small, then a protective bib is put on him, but a napkin is still placed on his feet. You can wipe your cheeks, mouth and dirty hands with a paper napkin.

How to teach your baby to use appliances

A child under three years old is given a spoon, and after three years old, the child can be taught to use a fork. You should not leave your child alone.

A five-year-old child is gradually introduced to the rules of table etiquette. Just at this age you can master a new object - a knife. To make the acquaintance successful, give your child an individual set with bright pens. He will learn to use devices faster.

About behavior at the table

Mothers often repeat: “You can’t play with your food!”, “Don’t talk with your mouth full!”, “Don’t spin!”
From an early age, you need to teach your child simple table etiquette rules:

• they do not play, sing or shout at the table;
• don't talk with your mouth full;
• do not dig into the plate with your hands;
• You can’t spit out food;
• what is on the plate must be eaten completely;
• wipe dirty hands and mouth with a napkin;
• after finishing the meal they say “Thank you”;
• no need to leave the table until all family members have finished. You can leave only if adults allow it.

Teaching your little one etiquette at the table

A good example for a child is his parents. Children quickly absorb the behavior of those around them, and if it is customary in the family to make noise at the table and take food with their hands, then the child will behave the same way. You can avoid this behavior by teaching your child table etiquette in the form of a game. You can plant your favorite toys nearby and, together with your child, “teach” them the rules of etiquette at the table.

In addition, it is advisable to serve your child food in different dishes and tell him what each device is for. An older child can be asked to help arrange the cutlery. You shouldn’t yell at your child, as this will cause him to pull away and not want to continue learning table etiquette.

Table etiquette - video

It wouldn't hurt for each of us to brush up on the rules of table etiquette, and perhaps even learn something new about how to behave while eating. The most important rules of etiquette that absolutely everyone should use.

Each of us notices when in a cafe at the next table someone eats sloppily or secretly wipes their hands on their knees. In the same way, other people notice our mistakes; any behavior is striking and can cause embarrassment. Therefore, it is better to check yourself and correct your own behavior if necessary.

How to behave at the table

General rules apply to any situation; they will never be superfluous. The first thing we pay attention to when we see a person is his posture. Posture characterizes not only a person’s behavior or state, but also reveals the secrets of his character.

An insecure person will fidget nervously on the edge of his chair, a complex person will try to slouch in order to become less noticeable. Sit upright, but so that you are comfortable. Your hands can be placed on the edge of the table or on your knees, and it is better to press your elbows to your sides.

By the way, in order to learn how to hold your elbows near your body, in Soviet times it was advised to periodically train - have lunch, holding a couple of weighty books with your elbows. This is necessary so that the correct bodily pattern is formed, and you hold your elbows flawlessly even when you don’t think about it at all.

The rules of table etiquette cover almost all situations that can happen to a person and give a clear recommendation on what to do in a given situation.

Naturally, table etiquette at home and restaurant etiquette are somewhat different. However, there are rules that are appropriate in any situation:

• Don't talk too loudly;
• Do not move the fork or spoon with food too far from your mouth;
• You should not make sounds while eating;
• You should eat calmly, without unnecessary haste.

Restaurant

The rules of conduct in a restaurant imply some composure - you need to behave correctly and with dignity in order to make a pleasant impression on others.

1. The man must let the lady go first, but if a group of men or women goes to the restaurant, then everyone is on equal terms or relies on the initiator of the dinner.
2. If several people are supposed to meet at dinner, and some of them are late, then by mutual agreement with the rest of the guests, you can wait about a quarter of an hour for the latecomers. A longer wait is a sign of disrespect for guests who arrived on time.
3. If you happen to be late, you should apologize and then simply join the others. You should not draw special attention to the fact of being late and explain the reason, just join in the table conversation.
4. When a man and a woman meet in a restaurant, the man must read the menu and offer his companion some dishes. For a girl in this case to express her indifference is a sign of bad manners. Etiquette in a restaurant implies the participation of the lady in choosing dishes.
5. In a restaurant, you should not have a conversation in a raised voice or laugh loudly. If this happened by accident, it makes sense to apologize to other visitors and be quieter. Observe table etiquette, and if someone behaves inappropriately at the next table, you should inform the waiter about it.
6. You need to start eating when the waiter has brought out the ordered dishes to everyone present. If the person who is waiting for his dish to be prepared does not mind, he can make an invitation to others to start eating.
7. It is strictly forbidden to perform hygiene procedures at the table - wiping your face, neck and hands with napkins, combing your hair or applying lipstick. If you need to pay attention to your appearance, it is better to do this in a special room. Table etiquette also does not welcome traces of lipstick on dishes. Before starting to eat, the girl must carefully remove the lipstick with a napkin.
8. Any interaction with food also looks uncivilized - food is on the table to be eaten. Taking photos for Instagram, blowing on the soup, meticulously picking at the salad, commenting on the ingredients is indecent.
9. If you come across a piece of cartilage or a bone in some dish, you need to carefully return the inedible element back to the spoon and move it to a plate (or napkin).

How to handle devices

1. Under no circumstances should you check the cleanliness of the cutlery, and if you do notice a cloudy spot on a fork or spoon, you need to quietly draw the waiter’s attention to this oversight and politely ask for a replacement.
2. In most restaurants, the table is set in advance, and the cutlery is laid out on both sides of the serving plate.
3. Don’t be confused if there are more dishes on the table than you expected to see - everything has its purpose, and if you are in doubt about which fork or spoon you should take, you can always see how the other guests solve this problem.
4. Those utensils that lie to the left of the plate are used with the left hand, and those that are laid out to the right must be held in the right hand.
5. When serving complex dishes, each dish requires its own utensils, so if you are in doubt about which fork you should take, take the farthest one - the one that is furthest from the edge of the plate. As you change dishes, you will gradually move closer to the closest appliances.
6. The knife is used either for cutting food or for spreading pates and butter (for example, during breakfasts). You should not try pieces from a knife.
7. Meat or fish should be cut sequentially as it is eaten. Cutting the entire portion at once is bad form. It is generally accepted that this way the dish cools down faster and loses its main flavor nuances.

Learn in advance a few differences between different cutlery so as not to get into trouble.

Forks

• Second hot dishes are eaten with a table fork; it has four teeth, and its length is slightly less than the diameter of the plate and is placed on the left;
• a fish fork is used for hot fish dishes, it looks smaller than a diner and has four short teeth, a fish fork is easy to recognize by its indentations - they are needed to separate the bones;
• snack fork - a smaller duplicate of a table fork, used to eat cold appetizers;
• dessert fork - for pies, small, matches the size of the dessert plate and looks atypical;
• a fruit fork equipped with two prongs, usually served with a fruit knife;
• the remaining forks are considered auxiliary, they are placed next to the dish that needs to be eaten with them.

Knives

• Any second hot dish is eaten with a table knife, it is placed to the right of the plate, the blade is turned towards the plate;
• a fish knife is dull and resembles a spatula, used to separate the flesh of fish from the bones;
• the snack knife is small and has serrations;
• the dessert and fruit knife look similar - they are the smallest.

Spoons

• a tablespoon is the largest, lies to the right of the plate;
• a dessert spoon is served with desserts that do not require cutting - soft puddings, jellies and whipped cream;
• an ice cream spoon is served with a bowl;
• the cocktail spoon has a very narrow and long handle;
• a teaspoon can be served with any hot drink;
• coffee spoon is the smallest, served only with black coffee.

Dialogues and behavior at the table

Table etiquette involves not only the use of cutlery, correct positioning and good posture, but also the manner of conducting dialogues and conversations.

It is worth noting that table etiquette strictly prohibits discussing provocative issues that could lead to a serious conflict - therefore, you should refrain from comments about money, politics and religion.

How to behave at the table and what to say? Be sure to look at the person who is speaking to you, listen without interrupting, and only then respond. If you consider some of your interlocutor’s questions inappropriate for a meal, gently suggest discussing this a little later. In all other cases, you should answer easily and naturally.

Restaurant etiquette rules also do not imply heated arguments - refrain from inappropriate comments and lighten the mood with a sweet joke if someone else raises their voice.

You shouldn’t have a conversation with just the two of you; involve the rest of the meal participants in the conversation.. For example, if the conversation is about a recent vacation, you can ask one of the interlocutors whether he is going to go on vacation in the near future or what vacation spots he prefers.

It is also good form in any table conversation to praise the host, cook or initiator of the meeting - find a few kind words to note the general atmosphere of the evening.

A short course in etiquette

• Do as the majority does.
• Don't point out others' mistakes, as a last resort, you can say this quietly in an undertone and only to your neighbor at the table.
• Don't be away from your meal for too long.
• When leaving the table, apologize.
• Try everything and eat what you like.
• Diets, eating disorders, restrictions on alcoholic beverages and diet are not discussed at a common table.

It is better to study some rules of behavior at the table by looking at pictures - look at the basic table setting diagrams, you can also watch a video on how to properly hold this or that device.

Table etiquette is not that difficult if you devote a little time to it, and following all the rules will help you present your best side.

Young parents do not always take seriously the advice of their elders in raising children, and they consider teaching their child table manners a top priority. So in some families it comes down to completely unpedagogical shouting: “don’t slurp, close your mouth and chew, sit up straight, don’t rock in your chair, don’t grab from the table until lunch...”. At this point they consider their mission completed. And the grandmother knows for sure that in a few years the parents will have to blush for such a teenager. Or another situation, the baby has been poking around in the soup for half an hour, choosing from there what he likes best, and eventually pushing the plate away, spilling the contents on the floor, on the table and on himself... Is this a familiar situation? It is forgivable if the child is only a year old. What if it’s already four or five? Where is the line between childish awkwardness and lack of good manners? And when should you start introducing your child to the basics of etiquette? Let's figure out what the rules of behavior for children at the table should be.

Everyone has a few unpleasant moments in their memory when a neighbor’s teenager or a kid invited to a children’s party simply ruined lunch with their behavior. They talked loudly, reached across the table for the best piece of cake, slurped, or even choked, without chewing their food. The list of unacceptable behaviors is endless.

Let's protect ourselves from similar behavior from our son or daughter in the future. Let's try to systematize teaching our little ones good manners so that it is not burdensome for them or for us. The best age to start training is 1.5 - 2 years. Naturally, at this age a child will not be able to understand all the rules of adult etiquette. Yes, this is not necessary.

When to teach? Everything has its time

Table etiquette rules for children are slightly different from adult etiquette, because... Many hyperactive children become little pranksters while eating. Most children learn good manners by the age of 5. But a child’s education should begin at the age of 1.5–2 years. Of course, there may be exceptions to the rules, but know that the later you start training, the more difficult your lessons will be for your child.

We read an article about how to teach a child to eat independently and carefully -

from 1.5 to 5

• At this age, the child actively masters the skills of the surrounding world. He absorbs everything he sees and tries to imitate adults. It's time to learn the basics of etiquette in a playful way;
• It is mandatory to wash your hands before eating. The mother herself should not forget to wash her hands before feeding the baby. Before each meal, she and the baby should go to the bathroom and wash both her and his hands. Over time it will do this automatically;
• Feeding a child should definitely take place at the dinner table, and not in the nursery or in front of the TV. This will help your child take food seriously in the future and respect the work of those who prepare food. Place your baby in a high chair so that he does not look out from under the table, but feels like an equal member of the family;
• Place a linen napkin on your baby's lap. Clothes will remain clean even if your child spills soup or tea. In adult life, the presence of a napkin in a restaurant will not confuse your child;
• Do not allow your child to play with food, crumble bread, or spread porridge on the table. Such behavior is not permissible even at 2 years old. Try to patiently explain to the baby that it is ugly to behave this way, that the mother is ashamed of him. Mom and Dad never behave like that. Of course, the baby will not listen to you the first time;
• Just one rule: never yell at him. Be patient and consistent in your demands. You cannot prohibit something today and tomorrow not notice what a child has done;
• By the age of five, children should already be able to handle a fork and knife as children. They should not be confused that the knife should be held in the right hand and the fork in the left hand. By this age, you need to teach your child which foods are eaten using cutlery and which foods are taken with their hands.

from 5 to 10

The most fruitful age for education, but also the most difficult. During this period, the child does not so unconditionally trust the words of his parents. He is already trying to independently understand the life and actions of the people around him.

Mom and dad should not allow any relaxation for themselves in the ritual of eating. If you teach your child not to drink juice from a package, but to pour it into a glass, it will be unacceptable to break this rule yourself. Or just forget to wash your hands before lunch one day. Or not thanking the hostess for dinner. The child will notice this, and your words will no longer be true for him.

(The picture is clickable, you can copy and print)

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At 5-6 years old, the child must learn how to behave at the table and no longer violate accepted norms. Each violation must be discussed with the child at a family council. This will help him understand the seriousness of the adults' demands. But in no case should you conduct a “debriefing” in the presence of strangers, in a derogatory manner or with the help of shouting and swearing.

• The baby already knows that he needs to sit upright at the dining table, without swaying in his chair. It is unacceptable to spread your elbows and push your neighbors at the table with them. If it is difficult to achieve compliance with this rule with words, the technique with books helps a lot. During lunch, slip a book under your child's armpit and ask them to hold it until the end of the meal. A few of these exercises and there will be no problems with your elbows;
• The child does not allow himself to slurp loudly or speak with his mouth full. This was constantly instilled in him. He also knows that he needs to put small pieces of food in his mouth and chew them thoroughly;
• The baby is holding back belching and coughing. If this is not possible, be sure to turn away from the table and cover your mouth with a paper napkin;
• It will be completely natural for a child under 10 years of age to know that one cannot consider oneself the center of society and attract everyone’s attention to one’s person with various loud demands. If the child needs to move away from the table, he must ask permission from one of the parents in a quiet voice, calmly. It is not at all necessary for everyone to know that he wants to go to the toilet;
• You cannot reach across all the dishes to the plate at the other end of the table. The child knows that he needs to ask for the desired piece to be put on his plate. You can't rummage through a shared dish in search of the best piece;
• You can sit down at the table only after adults, and get up after everyone has eaten. If you don’t want to sit and listen to adults talk, the child simply asks permission to leave;
• Gratitude for lunch must necessarily manifest itself in the form of the magic word “thank you.”

from 10 and older

You did a good job teaching your offspring excellent manners and etiquette. However, it is too early to relax. He knows what every intelligent person should know and observe. But the rules of good manners and behavior at the table are not limited to this. Ahead is the study of special cutlery that is not used daily. It would be good to introduce your child to how to eat various exotic dishes. General knowledge about the food traditions of the peoples of the world will not be superfluous.

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1. Do not speak to your child in a didactic tone. To better understand the rules of etiquette, a game form of training is suitable. You can create a dinner party for dolls and bears by setting the table with toy dishes according to all adult standards. Your child will, of course, be responsible for this lunch. And you will only prompt and advise in time.
2. Be consistent and patient in your learning. Don't allow yourself to take it out on your child, even if he has done something inappropriate. Don't forget to praise and support your child for his successes.
3. Involve your child in preparing lunch. Trust him to arrange the plates and bring the bread to the table. Working together will bring you closer and make your child more respectful towards food and the person preparing lunch.
4. Call on cartoons and fairy tales that talk about the rules of etiquette to help you. Discuss with your child a scene from a related movie you just saw. Don't miss real-life examples. The rules of behavior at the table should be vividly woven into reality; this is not a frozen dogma.
5. Your own example is the best lesson. Children always imitate adults. Let's use this for learning. Of course, it’s not easy to always control yourself and not allow yourself to grab a piece of tasty food on the fly, but remember about the child.

Why should a child be taught etiquette?

Your efforts will not be in vain. Adult life will very soon become the life of your baby. A joint lunch with a potential employer, a visit to a restaurant with a girl you like, a business dinner with partners, a corporate party... Often the most serious conversations take place at the dinner table. Read the article with comments and experiments

Video minute: table etiquette

Psychologists say that it is necessary to teach a child the rules of etiquette at the table from early childhood: from one to two years:

How to sit at the table correctly

Lessons in good manners. How to behave at the table? How to sit, what you can and shouldn't do at the table? In good manners lessons you will learn:

How Koksik and Shunya learned table manners

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Once you have mastered the rules of table etiquette and learned how to hold cutlery, it will be easy for you to concentrate on the content of the event and feel more confident. And this is very important if the future, for example, an important contract, depends on the evening.

If you are having dinner at home rather than in a restaurant, then first you need to set the table correctly.

Arrive on time

This applies to home treatments. If a guest is late for any reason, the hosts must be informed in a timely manner. But you shouldn't show up too early, because this can lead to fuss or embarrassment for the hosts.

Seating

At home

The place on the short side of the table should be occupied by the owner of the house or the person who is organizing the meeting. The hostess sits at the other end. If the table is round, she sits down so that it is convenient to look after the guests. The places of honor are next to the owners. When the table is rectangular, the most important people should sit in the middle of the long side.

Usually ladies are invited to sit to the right of the host, gentlemen to the left of the hostess. The rest need to be seated so that the companions are pleasant to each other. For children or the younger and older generations, you can make two different tables. The owners in any case sit with the older company.

Public place

The previous table etiquette rules apply if the party is private. In a restaurant, the best place is from which you can see everything that is happening in the room and which is not in the aisle; men are inferior to girls.

Going to a restaurant

Entrance

Punctuality is a virtue, but when someone is late, there are two options:

1. The early arrival waits in front of the entrance or, if it takes longer, in the lobby or at the bar.
2. In the second option, you can afford a small aperitif.

But if the first person is already reading the menu, this gives the laggards an unpleasant impression, although he may have arrived too early, and the latecomers actually arrived on time.

It used to be that a man would enter a restaurant first to open a lady's door, help his date take off his coat, and lead her to the table. Today, it is not so important whether women are given favors. There are also special maintenance personnel for this purpose, so this is usually not an issue. But such gestures are still pleasing to women, and a man will demonstrate elements of the behavior of a real gentleman.

Chair

The staff at a good multi-star restaurant will immediately pull out a chair for a lady. But if there are several girls at the table, then you can help with a chair for your partner. For less formal occasions, you can join as soon as the host is seated at the table.

In the past, leaning on the back of a chair was considered rude. But now you can signal to your partner that you are ready to move on to an important conversation.

Table manners

Try to hide your excitement and not show that you don't know the rules of behavior at the dinner table. If you don't know how to use certain devices, then just look at what others are doing.

At the table you need not only to eat, but also to entertain guests. But it should be in reasonable quantities - taboos on topics of illness, death, sex, religion and politics.

If you're not hungry, try a little of everything so you don't offend the person who prepared the dishes.

Telephone and constant telephone conversations are elements of rude behavior towards guests. If a call is urgent or expected, the phone should remain connected in your pocket, otherwise you need to turn off the sound or set it to vibrate.

You cannot smoke in front of guests, even if you have already eaten and it does not bother anyone. Many restaurants have designated smoking areas where it will not bother other customers.

Wine

After the host or waiter has poured everyone a glass, you should not drink it immediately. Do not make a toast if you are a guest, on your own initiative. You need to wait for the first sip or toast of the host of the evening.

The rule for children, although some adults do not know this, is that any drinks should be drunk quietly, without gurgling or squelching. And also, before taking a sip, wipe your lips and hands, otherwise there will be untidy, greasy stains on the glass.

How to start eating

When the food begins to serve, remove the napkin from the plate and place it on your lap. After wiping your mouth or hands, do not crush it, but leave it on an empty container. If you need to leave your seat for a short time, place it next to your plate. For children under 5 years old, there is a rule - a napkin must be tucked into the collar to protect clothes.

When the food is served, wait until everyone has been served. An exception may be made when serving food takes some time - then you can ask other guests for permission to start. It is necessary to apologize and say that otherwise the food will get cold.

Cutlery should be in your hand - both while eating and when talking with neighbors. During a long conversation, you can fold them on a plate in the shape of a triangle - just like in the diagram. If you have finished your meal, place them parallel to each other, but their position on the plate has its own meaning - be careful.

For children, do not forget to explain that licking a knife or other sharp utensils is prohibited.

Allergy to food

Those who are allergic to certain foods should not make a fuss. To avoid noise, the dish you can't stand is left just sitting on the plate.

Meat, fish and spaghetti

Meat and poultry are taken from a common dish with a fork, and cut into small pieces on your own plate. Do not cut everything at once, otherwise the food will cool faster.

Fish bones should be left on the edge of the dish. Table manners do not allow leftover food to be scattered on the plate.
The bones that are in the mouth must be carefully placed on a fork and brought to the plate. If they are too small, it is acceptable to gently remove them with your thumb and forefinger.

Long pasta, such as spaghetti or tagliatelle, needs to be wrapped around a fork. You can use a spoon to help.

What should you teach your child?

For children, this must be explained first:

1. You can't put your elbows on the table. Press them to the sides.
2. Do not chew with your mouth open or slurp.
3. It is unacceptable to talk to your interlocutor unless you have chewed something.

Children should gradually be taught that behavior at the table is something important. But they cannot follow all adult rules. For example, a glass may be too large for a small hand, and then a child is allowed to hold it with two hands, while an adult should not do this. Also, very young children should not be given sharp instruments.

https://youtu.be/_C-pIm5gX8k

Tell them that reaching across the entire table is indecent, and you need to ask your neighbor to pass the desired dish, and then thank you. It is almost impossible for younger children to pour something for themselves, so they may ask an adult to help them.
Please note that you don’t need to notify everyone if you want to go to the toilet - you just need to excuse yourself and leave.

Monitor your children’s posture - immediately teach them to sit on a chair correctly, occupying the entire chair, and not just the edge of the seat. Don't let them swing.

As for a child in a restaurant, everyone chooses for themselves what to do. Many people take their children with them wherever they go. But do not forget that capricious children can ruin the rest of other visitors. If you nevertheless took him with you, but the child began to cry loudly, go somewhere from the common room and calm him down there.

Payment

The evening is over. All that remains is to pay for delicious food and drinks. If it has already been announced that you need several checks, this is not a problem, but it may cause unpleasant feelings for your companions.

It will be great when someone alone pays for everyone, and then the amount is simply divided by the number of people, even if some ate for a larger bill.

It is better to give a credit card - this is the most discreet way to pay the bill. No one looks at the amount on the check, especially if you were invited to dinner. A tip of 5 to 10% of the order is optional, but it shows how satisfied you are with the food and service.

If you weren't happy with something during the evening, don't complain and ask for a price reduction. Always speak up straight away when something is wrong with a food or drink.