Tea traditions, cases, stories

The boss enters the office and says to the secretary, pointing to his companions:
- So, tea for me, and coffee for these three foreign goats ...
Voice from the office:
- Two goats, I'm a translator.

Tribute to tradition

According to an old tradition, Russian Chekists treat their guests with a cup of tea at the beginning of any negotiations.
- If the negotiations are successful, the guests receive an antidote.

The waiter with a tray approaches the client of the restaurant:
- Coffee? Tea?
- Maybe coffee.
- But you didn't guess! Tea.

Hostess to the guest:
- Would you like a glass of cognac or a glass of tea?
- A glass of cognac!

Fighting excess weight is useless as long as there is a mysterious line in the shopping list "and something for tea".

Treat in Odessa:
- Would you like tea without any jam?

At the buffet:
- Girl, what can you drink?
- Tea.
- And stronger?
- Coffee.
- And even stronger?
- Well ... I can mix coffee with tea.

Tea legends

They say that if you brew a tea bag 8 times, then the tea leaves will float up to look at your mean face.

If you drink vodka with tea with cinnamon, then you get the feeling of a stormy party and home comfort at the same time.

Honey, where's the tea? I can't find it at all.
- Oh, how helpless you are! Tea in the first aid kit, in a cocoa can with a “salt” sticker!

A guy and a girl are sitting in a restaurant. Ordered a light salad. They sit and eat. The girl glances at the menu from time to time. Finally the guy says:
- Well, can we order something hot?
“Yes, yes,” the girl nods happily.
- Waiter! Two teas please!

The programmer meets girls:
- Girls, would you like some tea?
- Not!
- What about coffee?
- Not!!
- What about vodka?
- Not!!!
- Weird. . . Standard drivers did not fit.

Useful advice.

If you wash the dishes with Fairy Lemon, then you can not put lemon in your tea later.

Lucy, can we buy something for tea?
- Yes, it would be necessary to buy something, otherwise everything has already been eaten. And what would you like?
- Well I do not know. . . Maybe we can have a beer?
- Exactly, and smoked mackerel.

What are you doing?
- I'm sitting eating cheese with a pigtail, and what are you doing?
- I'm drinking tea with my mouth.

A man has returned from London and tells a friend:
- Now I know why the British are such avid tea drinkers.
- Why?
Have you tried their coffee?

A young man is sitting at the table, having dinner, drinking tea. A waiter comes up to him, holding a small child in his arms, and says:
- This is for you from the girl at that table over there!

The hostess treats guests:
How many spoons of sugar do you usually put in your tea?
- Two at home, four away.
- Well, make yourself at home.

TEA PHILOSOPHY

See how well this girl draws! Natasha, please draw tea in a glass.
- You with sugar, or without?

Two hangover drink tea. Dialog:
- Our whole life is like this mug of tea!
- Why?
- How do I know? What am I to you, philosopher?

Cannibals for tea:
- Here, they say, a person is 80% water. And still want to drink!

Is it possible to determine a good tea bag or not?
It's simple, good - sinking.

Feast. A healthy man does not drink. To him:
- Why don't you drink?
- If I don't drink enough, I won't have fun. I drink a lot, it will not be fun for you.

A three-letter word that men don't like?
- Yet!

Lena, how can you skip the entire salary in one day?!
- Take the money, let's go and show you!

Why did you stop calling me?
- Stopped drinking.

Do you have books on nonsensical dialogues?
- Of course.
- Good.

What's the difference between an airplane and a toilet?
- They get on the plane to fly, and they fly to the toilet to sit down.

Mom, dad, I thought so, I'm already an adult, I want to live alone!
Well done son, I'm proud of you!
Thank you, your things are at the door.

Hello, dear, did you touch the navigator?
- Yes, I looked how to get to Saratov.
- Well, congratulations. I am in Saratov.

The man in the pharmacy
— Excuse me, do you have women's Viagra?
- Jewelery - across the road.

How about we buy something for tea?
- What would you like?
- Well, I don't know... Maybe we'll take a beer?
- Exactly, and smoked mackerel

A drunken man picked up a cat and comes home. Wife opens. The man says:
- This is a monkey from the jungle.
- Well, what kind of monkey is this, - the wife says with a smile, - this is a cat.
- Don't bother me, I'm talking to the cat.

A man is in a compartment. At one of the stations with noise and din tumbles
family - a woman with four children.
- Is it possible to calm them down? - the passenger asks discontentedly.
“Unfortunately not,” the mother replies. - But you won't have long.
tolerate. Stop soon.
- Will you go there?
- We - no, but you - for sure.

At night, a policeman stops a tipsy girl.
- Where are you in a hurry?
- On the lecture!
- Who's lecturing at this time?
- Husband!

Why are you silent?
I choose words.
- What kind?
- Censored.

Father boxer gives instructions to his son boxer:
- Attention! Focus! Now go to the store and buy two things! Remember - TWO THINGS - bread and butter! Remember? Bread and butter!!! Go.
Two hours later, the son comes with a hockey stick...
- You're an idiot! I told you two things! Puck where?!!!

Two mothers of second graders are talking:
Did you do math for your son?
- Yes.
- Let me write off.

Hello! We are starting a seminar "How to make a million in one day".
Question to the audience. How much did the seminar ticket cost?
- One thousand.
- How many seats are there in this room?
- One thousand.
- I hope everything is clear to everyone. Thank you, the seminar is over.

Two friends are talking.
The first:
- You know, I've graduated from courses in psychology.
- And what can you do now?
- I can do anything! I can control a person's mind.
- Justify!
- Here we bet for a liter of vodka that that guy over there will throw himself off this bridge after I talk to him!
- Lets do it!!
- The first one approaches the peasant and asks him who he is by nationality.
- I'm German!
- Do you know that all the Swiss banks went bankrupt? - Oh mein goth? My money! Why should I live now? ... - and threw himself off the bridge.
Second:
- I can not believe this. It is an accident. We bet two liters that it won't work with that guy!?
The first one comes up again and again asks the peasant for his nationality.
- I'm French!
- Do you know that in France all brothels were closed?
- Mon Dieu!!! How is it, why live now? - and also jumped off the bridge.
Second:
- It's just out! I'm just fucking! It doesn't happen! We bet on a bucket of vodka that you definitely won’t be able to persuade that guy!?
The first approaches the new "victim" and wonders where he is from:
- I'm Vanyok, from Tomsk! And what?
- Do you even know that it is forbidden to jump from this bridge?

Joke #149729

- Lucy, let's buy something for tea?
- Yes, it would be necessary to buy something, otherwise everyone has already eaten up. And what would you like?
- Well, I don't know... Maybe we'll take a beer?
- Exactly, and smoked mackerel.

More jokes

So, in the affairs of the company, a complete stagnation has recently reigned. Does anyone have interesting and fresh ideas?
- Let's have a beer! In such heat - this is the most, plus Friday today, after all.
- Yes, an interesting idea. But what is its freshness?
- And we'll buy fresh beer!

Husband and wife talking
- Our son has grown up, we need to give him somewhere!
- Let's go to music school.
- No, well, this will begin - you need to buy a piano, the notes are there, expensive!
- Then football.
- No, you need to buy boots every month, a ball ...
- Maybe ballet?
- No, well, he needs to buy pointe shoes, all kinds of tights, expensive ...
Listen, why did we have a child at all?
- Well, you yourself said - why else buy these condoms, expensive.